9 Things He'd Like To Say
by atomish
Summary: When you've been with a person for a long time, some things become too hard to say. These are 9 things Mello wish he could say to Matt but really can't get the words out right. Warnings: yaoi, suggestive themes. Some are AU, others not. One-shot.


Atom here! So, it's sort of my first story *coughs coughs*. Anyway, hope you enjoy. it's a slight variation of sentence thingies. Kind of short but I can't get much more 'creative juices' flowing. This is a MelloxMatt story/ m22m as I like to call their relationship. I'd like some feedback so reviews would be nice! Help me by pointing out mistakes also!

**Disclaimer: I do not own, by any means, ways or forms, Death Note or any of its characters. I only drool over them...**

**9 Things He'd Like To Say But Can't Get the Words Out Right**

_A Death Note Story by atomiclint_

'**Someday, you're going to go blind playing all those video games…'**

Every time he saw Matt tapping away at his handheld, his face barely three centimetres away from the tiny screen, he would yank it out of his hand. And when he'd open his mouth to say those exact words, they would get caught in his throat as Matt's face crumpled pitifully.

'**Why do you wear those goggles?'**

The thought has resurfaced a million times in Mello's head again and again. But no matter how right the moment to ask was, it would never be perfect because no matter how close they were, they were never close enough for him to ask. After all, it was normal to have secrets, right?

'**So, how 'bout we go out on a date tonight?'**

No matter how many times they went out for dinner, or to the park for ice cream, Mello would never, _ever_call it a date. Matt was always the one to ask and he had no problem calling it a date. Mello just thinks a date was too innocent for how they always turned out to become.

'**I wished you didn't wear those goggles; your eyes are too pretty to be covered up.'**

The first time Mello had saw Matt's eyes without the protective lenses of those goggles filtering their colour was the first time Mello was convinced he was truly damned. And even if he died today, he was content to be damned if it meant he was able to see those pretty eyes every single day.

'**Remember last night…'**Every time they woke up naked next to each other in bed, neither of them would say that and sometimes, Mello was aching to because he could never get those touches and sights and smells out of his head and they drove him crazy. Until, of course, they do it again, that is.

'**God, you are so fucking weird.'**

Because if he said such a thing, he would be a hypocrite and Mello was _not_ a hypocrite. They blame it on Wammy's and all the shit that had happened but they can't do anything about it _now_so they just deal. And so, every time Matt does something particularly odd, Mello just does something equally odd right back.

'**I bet you'd look really hot in my leather pants.'**

Mello had never been given any birthday present of all the eighteen years and 355 days that he has lived so far. But he has had the thought of Matt wearing his leather laced up pants for a couple of months now and just seeing it in his head is enough of a first birthday present itself. But when he came home on his nineteenth birthday, present-less and found Matt wearing his pants, he figured that image made up for all of them. And what happened afterwards is his pre-received present for probably ten years after.

'**Whatever happens, I'll be there for you…'**

As much as he wanted to make that promise to Matt, he knew, deep down in his heart that it could never be true. So he convinces himself that he saved Matt the heartbreak when he left at age fourteen. But he could not convince himself that again when Matt died because Matt's heart wasn't beating for it to break when Mello wasn't there for him.

'**Pay attention to **_**me**_**!'**

Every time Matt gets a new video game, he would spend days, or even weeks if the game engrosses him that much, playing it endlessly. And on those days, Mello would sulk around the apartment they shared and he felt foolish to say those words because really, who gets jealous of a game?

'**I love you,'**

Because 'love' was a strong word and Mello wonders if their relationship could actually be called that. And he wonders if they're actually in that deep though if he ever tried, Mello figures that he wouldn't be able to, that is, if he _wants_ to, anyway. But when he stumbles on a sleeping Matt or sitting beside a dazed one, still bathing in the afterglow, he can't help himself but lean over and plant a chaste kiss on the other's cheek. And that's when he finds himself saying 'I love you'.

So how'd you like it? Tell me, 'kay?

Cheers!

Atom


End file.
